As A Woman Thinketh
Today, I was in the library reading "As A Man Thinketh" and I came across the following passage. "A man does not come to the almshouse or jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power."
Also in the library were three other ladies that I happen to know are also doing time because of money charges. In case I haven't said this before, you are either in this prison because of drugs or money. I showed the passage to one of the ladies and asked her what she thought of it. She quickly responded that it was absolutely true. She shared that when she was meeting with one of her counselors after her last bid, he told her she had a criminal mind. Ironically, we are all required to take a class called Criminal Mind. I asked her why he said that and she shared that she put everything on the table with the counselor and told him about times she committed crimes even when she was a teenager. She told me stories of how she committed bank fraud when she was 17. How she would steal clothes from her job at The Limited when she was younger. And even how she lied about being accepted into college to avoid been sent overseas since she was in the reserves. The other ladies in the library who heard our conversation joined in. They all told stories of how they would steal things when they were younger just for the hell of it. One even admited that she takes things even now just because she does not like to pay for stupid things in Target.
They then turned to me and asked me to share. I had to think long and hard because truthfully I have trouble remembering details of my childhood sometimes. But then I remember when I use to steal from the Walmart in Wallace. I would take stupid stuff like earrings or Chapstick; not because my mom wouldn't buy it, but just because. I remember the last time I took something, I really thought I was going to get caught and get put in jail. I was so scared it took a long long time for me to return to the store.
The overall consensus with the group was that we didn’t just steal once and get sentenced to prison. No, we had been dishonest and out of integrity long before this. The difference was that this time we got caught. And although stealing earrings from Walmart is small in comparison to what I am doing time for now, they both come from the same place.
