Last Day of August
Today, I was really tired. I think it’s because I stayed up late last night coaching a young lady in here on her business. It has been really cool to see how excited she is about the business venture she is planning to launch once she is released. We stayed up until close to midnight talking and dreaming. She is younger than me and reminds me of my daughters. They keep me young. Having young minds and energy around is always a good thing.
I started reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X a couple of days ago and I can't put it down. I am about half way through with it. I am just getting to the part where he talked about his five year stint in prison. He shares how he "did his time" much like I do; reading and studying. He, of course, was reading way more than I currently am, but I can still relate. His prison stay is where he discovered the Nation of Islam and the teachings of Elijah Muhammad. His mindset completely shifted and so did his behaviors. His prison experience completely changed his life. He even says in his autobiography that it saved his life. I truly believe the same is happening for me. Actually, I know it is. I can already feel the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders and for the first time in a long time I am truly still. It is in these still moments that I feel my connection to myself and God strengthening. And honestly, I feel more alive.
Being able to sit down, rest and read a good book is something that I really did not have time for when I was home. I created a book wish list before I left and gave it to my family. I feel like I am reading them faster than they can send them to me. In between getting the ones from my family, I go to the library and grab a few. I went today because I know I am about to close out my journey with Malcolm X in the next couple of days.
I also rested A LOT today. I was very gentle with myself and did not try to over do it. I was simply tired. Instead of pushing myself to go outside, to walk the track, or to hang out, I spent a lot of my time in my room reading and sleeping. I also sang a lot today. And no, I am not a singer but the song "Allelujah" was in my head and so I just hummed it while I laid in the bed thinking and meditating on my experience so far.
Every night, before counts are conducted there is prayer time in the chapel. I began attending this week and it has been a perfect way to end my evening. We sing hymns that remind me so much of my childhood and growing up in Roseville Baptist Church. Last night I was looking through the hymn book and came across Allejuah and it stuck with me all day. I began thinking back to my childhood and about my years in the children's choir, The Sunshine Band. My cousin Lawanda played the piano and my cousin Mildred (Denise) and I would always be playing and being silly. My grandmother used to sit on the second row and clap her hands and rock back and forth while singing the hymns. Ma was either teaching or setting up the fellowship hall with my Aunt Juanita. And on some Sundays, my Aunt Dot would sing with the adults, "We Are Soldiers, In the Army." Those were the good old days. I am just grateful I have had the opportunity to sit, think, and remember them. Funny how life works.
