Okay to be Lazy
Lately I have been feeling...lazy. I know that sounds impossible for me, but there are days that I feel unfocused, like am and just "meandering through Mars" as Dr. Fort use to say. When the day is over I honestly think, "Sharita, what did you do today?" And although I feel like I am doing nothing, all of my friends are like, “you are the busiest prisoner I know.” One even said that I was going to leave with 100 certificates. Which gave me an idea...why not get 100 certificates? LOL! Listen, my case manager told me at my very first TEAM session that she wanted me to focus on one thing.... PROGRAMMING; and I took what she said to heart. To date, just over 90 days in, I have completed approximately 20 classes and have 5 more in process. Anytime I see a flyer for a class, I sign up for it. I don't care what it is. If there is signup sheet up, my name is going on it. And not only do I attend the classes, I teach some too. I mean, the lady gave me a directive, and when I am in, I am all in.
Outside of working, reading, working out, and going to classes, I really don't do much. And when I refer to a lot, I am referring to preparing myself to return to the outside. One thing I have noticed is that the ladies who have left [this place] all seem to go through a stage of anxiousness; mainly because they have no idea what they want to do or what they are going to do once they get out. As a matter of fact, I have been asking a lot of people here what they feel is missing, and many say re-entry prep. They feel like we take classes just to check a box, but overall they are not being given the tools and skills to help them re-enter society successfully.
I will admit, I walked in with a plan, or more like an idea. I have had goals set from the day I walked in this place. My journey has been very intentional. I have allowed it to be fluid and flexible, but a part of me knew before I even got here why I was coming and how I was going to leverage this experience to be in service to myself and others. Over the past three months I have developed a very loose plan. Now, it is time to tighten that up and fully develop the "it." At the same time, I will continue to put myself first and take care of me and to continue to allow myself to be LAZY.
