FedFit - FTF
Last night I taught my first yoga class. I was not as nervous as I thought I would be. A part of that is because I had support from a co-instructor. To be honest, I really did not practice what I was going to do, I just did it. I got my yoga certification years ago. I taught a couple classes at a local gym, but I never really did much with it. When I got to prison, there was an older lady that did yoga every night. I attended a couple of her classes and helped her with some poses, but again I did not stick with it.
When I first arrived, my body was in so much pain. My knee hurt, my wrist was swollen, and I was overweight. I came up with a term to describe the weight I put on, “case weight.” So many women spoke about how much weight they had gained once they caught their cases. That was me too. Once I found out that I was under investigation and could possibility go to prison, mentally, emotionally, and physically I fell apart. Honestly speaking, I did not want to live. I wore my anxiety and pain on my body. A woman who once visited the gym a minimum of twice a day and someone who would not touch a carb instantly turned into an ice cream eating and lemon drop martini consuming machine. I essentially punished myself by locking myself up in my body. I was incarcerated before I got to prison. And oh boy did my body keep the score.
I remember one time looking at my mother, who is over 30 years older than me, and thinking... she looks better and moves better than me. The weight I had gained caused me to develop heel spurs. This, coupled with my jacked up knee, was a recipe for a hobbling, slow stride. I felt terrible and had the graze to accompany it. As within, so without.
However, shortly before self-surrendering, I made the choice to detox my body. In order to do so, I completed a three day grape juice fast where I only drank grape juice and consumed no solid foods. I believe this jumped started my "cleaner" eating routine I picked up when I got here. It also helped that there was no food in the commissary and therefore I only had access to peanut butter, oatmeal, and nuts. Also, in the cafe I did not touch the bread or sweets. I also gradually began going back to the gym.
Currently, I am still watching what I eat and I working out daily; twice on most days. Spin has become my go to. There is usually not a day that goes by where I do not hit the bike. Spin is my safe place. When I am not in a class, I am riding solo. I am excited to get back to jump on my Peloton. Accompanied by circuit training and yogo, I am starting to feel and look better. I still have a long way to go, but I have begun and that is what is important. Also, I do not watch the scale, I listen to my body and give it what it needs. Since I have a little extra time on my hands, I figure I might as well use it wisely. A part of this is returning to looking and feeling my best. Plus, everyone knows prison is the best fat camp out there. LOL!
#FedFit-FTF
