What A Loving Weekend
At the end of an amazing weekend we were met with an unexpected challenge. There were terrible winds on Saturday that caused the internet and phones to go out. Therefore, I have not been able to communicate with my family or blog. So much I wanted to say in the moment, but I couldn't. I guess God had other plans for me and needed me to sit with it for a while before I spoke.
As expected, the visit with the girls was absolutely AMAZING. Also just as I expected, I cried like a baby, all weekend long. And that was okay. They were welcomed tears of love. My friends here cried with me, but more about that later.
All week I prepped for my visit. I got my hair, nails, and makeup done. I had fresh white sneakers and a clean, well fitted uniform. I purchased some jewelry from the commissary and borrowed some accessories from my bunkie. Needless to say, I was the hottest prison momma on the camp this weekend. LOL!
On the first day, when I got dressed and stepped out of my room, all the girls on my hall were hyping me up. LOL! It was so funny. They made a big deal out of me and my visit. That made me feel so good. They knew how excited I was about seeing my girls again. I had been counting down the days for weeks. Not only did they hype me up, but they walked me down to the pavilion so I could see the girls when they got out of the car. My bunkie made sure I had food to eat all day. And a couple of my close friends even walked me to the visitation room and picked me up when my visit was over.
There had to be at least twenty of us standing outside waiting for the girls. When they opened the car door and stepped out, we were going crazy. Jumping, waving, clapping, and of course...crying. Not just me, ALL OF US. There was not a dry eye out there. Once I met up with the girls in the visitation room, they told me that they wish they could have recorded what they saw. They thought we were so cute and they were so in awe by the love and support they saw me receive. I think this was the highlight of the visit. That alone let them know that I was okay, even before the visit started.
The truth is, I am okay. Actually, I am more than okay. I am happy. I am loved. Yes, I want to be home; of course. But over these past few months, I have been able to indulge in some serious self care and stress relief. And I know that it shows. The girls kept telling me how good I look. My hair is longer. My skin is glowing. I am smaller. I look better on the outside because I feel better on the inside. I knew that is a part of the reason I came here.
Early in the morning, around 4am on Saturday, day two of my visit, I woke up and just cried. At first I could not quite put my finger on why. I then realized that I was so full of love and joy. The love I received from my girls and my family here just filled me up and I had to let it out. All I kept thinking was...God really, really loves me. He loves me so much that he gave me everything I need, even in here. He sent me people to love and take care of me. He gave me love on the inside, literally and figuratively. I am not lacking anything. For that I am so grateful. My girls could feel the love even from the car. They told me, "Mom, they (my friends) really love you." And they are right. Love is all around me. Love is me. I am love. I am lovable. I am loved. And for once is my life I am aware of it, accepting of it, and open to attracting more.
