Relax, Relate, Release

It is amazing how one thing can change so much in your life. I feel like the loss of my dad has shifted how I see life and it has also impacted how I am doing my time now. Because God's timing is always perfect, I was faced with the death of a loved one, dead in the middle of my sentence. This means I had about 7 months to heal in one way and I will take the next 6-7 to heal in a different way. 

During the first part of my sentence I took the advice of so many who have either been incarcerated before or are currently doing time. The advice I listened to was, "stay busy, keep moving, it will help your time go by faster." That is what I did. I filled my days with classes, working out, working, reading, and hanging with my friends. I really took the the time to just be, relax, and let my mind settle. And although my time did seem to move fairly quickly, I also still felt tired. 

Now, I am doing things a little differently. These past two weeks, I have dropped classes that I signed up for, spent more time watching television, I have taken naps, attempted to take time to just chill, and even slept in until 10am count. Although I still have a long way to go, I am starting to feel more at ease and more relaxed. I am allowing myself the space and time grieve also. My health is still a top priority to me so I have been consistent with my workouts. 

My goal is to take these next few months and focus on myself, but in a different way. I do not desire to keep my mind going, but instead to learn to relax, chill and get rejuvenated. In a weird and strange way, I have been given the opportunity to focus on me and slow down. I plan to take the little bit of that time I have left to center me.