She Who Has the Peace, Has the Power.

This morning, I spent some time working on a crochet project that I started a few weeks ago. I put it down for a few because it was just not working out the way I wanted it to. LOL! I have to admit, after seeing how much commissary you can get for crocheting stuff I was motivated to pick it back up. However, on second thought, I am not 100% sure I really want to do it for other people or for money. There is a part of me that just wants to do it as a hobby. In speaking with the co-teacher she stated that before she got here she did not have a hobby. Everything was focused around making money, family, careers, business, etc. That got me thinking about how I move in the world and I haven't had a hobby in a very long time. When I find something enjoyable I immediately figure out a way to turn it into a profit and then all of a sudden there is no more enjoyment in it. Crochet on the other hand helps me get into the present moment. The only thing I think about is that thing. I only think about the hook going in the yarn. Over and over again. My mind comes to a beautiful resting place. No clients, no money, no hussle, just rest. 

It is hard for an entrepreneur like myself not to turn everything into a hustle. Even on the inside, everything is a hustle. You need your room cleaned? You can get it. You need your laundry done? Check. Braids? Check. Pedicure? Check. Massage? Check. Everything on the inside, just like the outside, has a price tag on it. EVERYTHING. The only difference is that in here the currency is not a dollar. It's a doughnut, or Lil Dude, or cookies. You can get legal documents written, you can skip lines in the commissary, you name it. Money talks. That is how I have always lived my life. I was told, "he who has the pen (meaning checkbook) has the power." And although I recognize and respect what money can allow you to do, I also know that "she who has the peace, has the power."

I was talking with a few ladies on my hall about how I am really focusing on myself. I stay to myself a lot, not because I am anti-social but for two reasons. One, you can get into a lot of mess in here. Two, and most importantly, I do not want to miss my mark. And I know that mark has nothing at all to do with me "doing" anything. It is all about me "being." Truly going within a harnessing my power. That power propels me towards anything I desire. The power is peaceful, and it is divine. I have stopped thinking about my next project or how I am going to take over the world. Now, I think about how I am going to take over ME.