Special Days
Today was a special day for two reasons. One, it was my bunkie's birthday. Two, my husband came to visit me.
My bunkie, who happens to be the hottest chick at the camp, turned 30. Lawd, I feel so old. LOL! When I say the girl is bad, that is an understatement. Although we have only been bunkies for close to two months, we have gotten really close. I am probably closer to her than anyone at the moment. That is not just because we live together and talk all night, but we also share a very similar mindset about life. Like myself, my bunkie is very low key. Therefore, she did not want anything over the top or for us to make a huge announcement. She also had a small dinner with a few friends. I wanted to make sure she felt special, so I had two custom greeting cards created, I had a journal sent in and I purchased a water jug for her out of the commissary. One of the greeting cards was shaped like a Chanel purse. It was actually 3D and stood up. When I tell you there are some talented ladies here...they are amazing. I think when I come home I will never look at a plain, store bought greeting card the same again.
My second, and favorite part of my day, was the face to face visit I received from my husband. As a part of his multi-state holiday visiting tour, he added KY as a stop and visited me. I was really happy. The last time I saw him face to face was on the morning he dropped me off here. Sure we have video visits, but it was not the same. There were two things that stood out for me during our visits: the way his eyes light up when he sees me and his consistent desire for me to remain happy, rested, and peaceful when I return home.
Over eight years ago, when I met my husband in school, I always noticed how he looks at me. Yesterday, even through the mask and hat, leaving his eyes as the only visible thing on his face, I could see the twinkle in his eyes when he saw me. When he removed his mask I was greeted with a partial smile. I say partially because he attempted so hard to hide it, but he cannot. It was all over his face. He lit up when he saw me. It was so sweet. And although I have always noticed it, I don't think I have always appreciated it. Like my girls, he commented that I look so much better; I look rested and happier. I guess I really did not realize how much pressure and stress I was under going through my case. I have also been living at Club Fed for the last four months and there is not a whole lot to do here. Needless to say, he was very happy with how I am doing and really encouraged me to keep it that way when I get home. He spoke about his desire for me to stay rested and just spend time with my family. He doesn’t want me to worry about doing a lot of stuff again and burning myself out. His care and concern is greatly appreciated.
It is crazy how life happens. How sometimes you have to be forced to sit down in order to appreciate what is right before you. In the past, I would have rushed into the grocery store and picked out any card, as long as it somewhat said what I wanted it to. I would have never put as much time into the simple things like the colors, the words, and especially not getting one handmade. I used to notice how my husband responded to me, but I didn't really "see" his reaction to me when he sees me. I am very lucky to have that experience. Before, I would have argued about how I move in the world and been upset if someone told me to chill. Now, I appreciate the concern and will be more intentional about my self-care.
Daily, my journey is unfolding as things are becoming clearer. Moment by moment. Breath by breath. For that, I am so grateful. Cheers to the special days. Cheers to the small things.
