The Cycle of Life

It has been a couple of days. A lot has happened. I lost the first man that I knew really loved me. I have spent the last few days planning a funeral from prison, something I never would have ever imagined I would be doing. All I know is that there is a God, one who really loves me because he is keeping me strong. I know death is a part of life and something we all most face, but this hurts, badly. To add fuel to the fire, I am not with my family when they need me the most. 

Thankfully, my case manager approved me for a furlough so I am able to attend the memorial service. I have so many emotions around this. I am excited, anxious, sad, and happy all at the same time. I am excited to see my family on the outside, but I also know I am going to miss my family on the inside. I have spent 7 months with them 24 hours a day, and in a strange way I have settled in. I am a little nervous that I will go home and have a hard transition once I return.