The Intersection of MH and Incarceration
This morning, when I attempted to go to the phone lines, I was greeted with two closed metal doors. The phones are placed just outside of the medical hall. Therefore, it was reasonable to assume that there was some type of medical emergency going on. After making my weekly commissary trip I then attempted to go back to the phone line to place my call. This time I was able to successfully make it through. As I was waiting I caught wind of what was going on in the medical room. One of the older ladies, who I believe was set to go home soon, found out that her son committed suicide. The shock of the news caused her to pass out. She was the medical emergency.
This is not the first time this has occurred since I have been here; a parent learning that their child passed away from suicide. It is actually more frequent than one could imagine. Even when I was telling my bunkie about what happened she told me about another girl on our hall who also lost her child to suicide.
My bunkie and I got into a discussion about what we felt the issue was. There are so many; too many to name in this one post. But overall, incarceration punishes more than just the individual. It is a punishment for the entire family. When people say that your family does your time with you, that is an understatement. Children especially are grossly impacted by the incarceration of a parent, whether that be a mother or a father. This impact is felt not only physically, but emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually.
Additionally, the world in general is extremely fragile. I think we sometimes underestimate the psychological impact that the pandemic has had. Numerous women that I am locked up with not only dealt with the impact of the pandemic, but many, like myself, dealt with it in conjunction with an investigation, indictment, and/or incarceration. I was personally approached by investigators only two weeks before the world shut down. Those two situations were the recipe that severely impacted my mental health and wellbeing. I honestly did not know the extent until I was in prison and had the opportunity to sit with myself and unpack everything I had been dealing with. In between facing financial loss, the fear of myself or a family member catching the virus, school closings, etc., I was also spending money on attorney fees and was facing the unknown about my future. This caused me to go into a deep depression that honestly did not lift out of until I got to prison.
Even when I saw my children during my first visit, I could see the impact that my absence is having. And although they are older girls, whether young or old, children still need and desire the presence of their mother. This is why I support and encourage my children to go to therapy. Mental health is important and requires just as much attention as our physical. The mental health of incarcerated individuals and their families is also important. We must raise awareness about this issue and support those who are in crisis.
