Window To The Soul
This morning I had the opportunity to take a little ride over to the legal building. My friend cleans the building twice a week. Sometimes I jump on the van just to take a ride in order to escape. The route that we take is the same route that I will take on the day that I will return to R&D (Receiving & Discharge) to process out of here on release day. Every time I take the ride I visualize myself walking out through the gates. I also think about the day I walked in.
Although I do not always give myself a lot of credit, so much has changed since I walked into that gate. Not only do I look different, I feel so much better. Every time I look at my ID Badge, which was taken the first day I arrived, I am reminded of that day. I can see the sadness and pain in my eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. So even if the text was not on the badge stating "INMATE" my eyes alone showed that I was "in prison."
Although my journey is not over and it seems like a long time to go, I know that it’s really not. As my grandfather once stated, "no matter how long you live, it is a short amount of time." I feel the same way about this experience. It is really a short amount of time. When I think about the fact that I have already been here close to 4 months, it really puts time into perspective.
Time is moving no matter what. I cannot control time. I cannot "manage" time. I can only manage and control myself and what I choose to do with my time. Each day I recommit to myself and this journey. I remind myself to stay present and to use this time wisely because this will never occur again. I may never have another opportunity to be with me in this way. Having the time to focus on me is truly a gift that I am grateful for.
Later in the evening, a town hall meeting was called. The unit manager wanted to give us an update on FSA. The final piece of the puzzle was finalized, the policy. This is huge as it means that all the work and time put in is finally paying off. I will receive credits towards an early release. This further motivates me to focus on using my time wisely as this will be coming to an end soon. Thank you God. Thank you God!
