All Hail the Queen
This morning has been very emotional. My girl, the first one to give me something when I got here, soap actually, THE QUEEN, has left the building. My heart is light but heavy. We all agreed that we would get up around 6am so we could see her off. I think we were up before she was. Once she did get up and got dressed, we all sat in the hall just laughing and talking as she gave away her last few items. You could see the light in her eyes and the smile on her face. She was one step closer to FREEDOM.
Once the guard came to get her to walk her down, we all lined up as if in a parade and headed down the steps as well. We had a short wait at the front door where we exchanged hugs again. The skyline was picturesque and a perfect setting for the grand exit of Queen. The fall skyline was a beautiful mixture of crimson and amber. It was like the sun was waiting for her to give it permission to rise. The cool, crisp autumn air sent a gentle kiss to our skin as we approached the building entrance. As Queen was waving goodbye, the town driver informed us that we could ride over to R&D (Receiving & Discharge) with her. Like little kids going on a field trip we all piled into the van. R&D wasn't quite ready for her, so we took a little mini tour around the property. The town driver described what all of the buildings were, and we dropped off one lady at work. We then headed back for the drop-off. Drop-off is in the exact same place where you are dropped off when you self-surrender. In the lot, there was one lady who was possibility waiting to pick someone up from the men's facility. This will be the same place my family will wait for me. As we waited, I imagined my family and friends waiting for me on discharge day.
Once the signal was given, Queen then took her walk down the long path, through the barbed wire fence that she entered earlier this year. As the van drove off, we looked back and waved. Her smile was so big as she waved her graceful goodbye. The tears began to fill my eyes. I just couldn't contain myself. I guess the others felt the same because they began to cry as well. Wow. Just like that, Queen was free.
When we got back to our building, we all went our separate ways. As I entered my hall I saw two of the other ladies talking. I approached them and I saw that they were still tearful. One looked up and said, "I am so happy for her, but I also want it to be me too." I completely understood how she felt. I wanted it to be me too, and I know that one day it will be. In that moment, all I could feel was love. I reached out to hug the two ladies and I told them, "I love you," because I really do. I really, really do.
This experience has opened not only my eyes but my heart. I love so much deeper and whole-heartedly now. I feel the love for my family and friends deeper than I ever have. I feel the love for my new family here as we share in this experience together. I feel the love for myself. For every day that I wake up and for every night that I go to sleep.That I made it though another day. I also feel the love and compassion for those who don't know how to experience love. For those who miss the small moments to connect with the community. My heart goes out to them and I pray that one day they will experience the love that is already right here around them, on the "inside' as they fight to return to the love they believe is on the outside.
A couple of days ago, before Queen left, I asked her a couple of questions. What does freedom mean to you? And, if you had to create an acronym for FREE what would it be? This was her response:
"Freedom means to be mentally & spiritually grounded. Knowing oneself and standing in that power."
F- Fearless
R- Resolute
E- Evolution
E- Encouraging
Queen, if you ever read this, thank you. Thank you for showing us how to go through a challenging situation with grace and poise. Thank you being the first person to extend a helping hand when I arrived to prison. Thank you for sharing your life stories and offering encouraging words during the difficult times. May God's blessings be with you on your journey. ALL HAIL THE QUEEN! Love you!
