As Above So Below
Today I attended an Old Testament bible study. This was the first time I have participated in any type of religious service since I got here. One of the main reasons I went to this service is because the minister who was leading the service is from Durham, NC. She and I connected last week and she always acknowledges me in passing. Let me be clear, I have nothing against Christianity. What I do struggle with is organized religion and the way in which Christianity is taught. I believe Christianity needs to be decolonized and therefore you won't likely see me in attendance at a ton of services. Anyhow, I was invited and decided to attend. Plus, I am here working on my relationship with the God of MY understanding and my roots are in Christianity, so I was not opposed to attending. When I do attend church, I get what is for me and I let the rest be. No judgement. No harm.
Around the camp, all you here all day are women in conversation about their release dates. They are talking about the CARES Act, First Step Act, Good Time Credits, Home Confinement, blah blah blah. If there were ever a time to be sentenced to federal prison, it is now. Historically, a federal conviction requires you to serve 85% of your time. The only other way out was through a drug program called RDAP, which I do not qualify for because my sentence is shorter than required and I do not have a history of substance abuse. Thanks to COVID and former President Trump, that is no longer the case. Federal prisoners have the opportunity to be released earlier. Needless to say, you can't escape the conversations about being released. They are happening over spades games, in the dining hall, on the track, and of course in the pavilion where the famous cornhole matches are taking place. And like the other women, I too am trying to figure out every way in the world I can get home as quickly as possible. I am literally on a mission to make #FreeSharita backwards, fo real!
During service, the one thing that stood out to me the most was when the minister said, “God does things on his timing not yours. If you are still here, is it for a reason.” About two days ago I had decided to give my mind a break from trying to figure out my release date. I have probably used over twenty sheets of paper writing down classes, making calendars, and trying to add and subtract manually to figure out my date. And honestly, I am tired. I am tired of thinking about it. I am tired of talking about it. I am tired of hearing about it. That does not mean that I am not going to continue to move in excellence and do my part. I will 100% do that. However, I have to rest, and I have come to peace with this. I will walk out of here when I am complete. My release is not for a physical place. My release is from a spiritual place that surpasses all understanding. I know it is not time for me to leave, not because I just got here and haven't served my time. It is not time for me to leave because I haven't gotten what my soul came here to get. When I do, I will be released.
On Earth as it is in Heaven. As above so below.
