Christmas Eve Eve
It is Christmas Eve Eve. This is definitely not my typical way of spending the days leading up to America's biggest holiday. Years ago on this day I was preparing to marry my first husband. Last year I was preparing to participate in NC's biggest Christmas party hosted by Deveilope Events, The Green Room. Little did I know that I would later be greeted by the world’s deadliest virus of the year, COVID. Other years I would just be getting ready to start Christmas shopping. That is correct, I would just be starting to shop. Why the late start? Truth is, I hate shopping and I despise shopping out of obligation. If I were to be honest, I really do not like Christmas or any holiday for that very reason. I love organic love and giving. The kind of exchange that is prompted simply by the giver’s desire to show love to the receiver. Not the kind that is prompted because of deals obtained at a Black Friday sale, the need to post the perfect social media picture, or just to say you did it and not be in the dog house with your significant other.
I am not just expressing this as a way to cope with my current circumstances. This is genuinely how I feel. I have participated in all of the rah rah because I had children and now a grandchild and there are certain expectations that I felt like I had to uphold. I felt guilty if we did not have cheesy matching pajamas or a glamorous family photo to post. And for heaven's sake I had to make sure my kids had adequate gifts under the tree to show off on Christmas morning. Needless to say, I bought the Kool-Aid and drank it hard.
However, last year was a wakeup call for me. Most think this is my first Christmas away from my family. Actually, last year was. After being diagnosed with COVID I decided to post up in a Drury Inn in a nearby town in order to protect the health of my family. Christmas for me consisted of a FaceTime visit and a wave from the driveway. In a strange way I think God was preparing me for this very moment.
Christmas Eve Eve 2022, 5:40 am: The fire alarm sounded throughout the hallway. The high today is suppose to be 4 degrees. This cannot be real. There is no way they actually expect us to go outside for a drill or even a real fire. It is freezing. The wind is whipping so hard it is actually making a melodic tune. Inside my individual room it is quite cozy. The old school wall radiator is more than enough to keep my little 8x10 box warm. But in the hallways, now that is a completely different story. As soon as you open the door you are greeted with an artic cold temperature. In the bathroom all you hear is the sound of water running, an attempt to keep water flowing and not freezing. As my bunkie and I peer out of our door we do not see any movement, no other inmates, and no guards. Although is it now close to 5:52 am I am going to assume this fire alarm is not real. 5:58 am the alarm stops but at this point everyone is up and moving around, including me. I headed to the computer lab because at 6 am I am able to do one thing…access the computer and document this bizarre start to Christmas Eve Eve.
