Christmas In the Feds
I guess I am either jaded or being in here puts life in a different perspective. I woke up this morning to a slew of Merry Christmas emails. Each included a compassionate statement that went something like, "under the circumstances, this too shall pass, I know you aren't where you want to be." They came from people who love and care for me and mean the best. They were all meant and intended to show compassion. Friends and family do time with you and they are on the outside having their own experiences. But here is one thing I want everyone reading this to know. I AM OKAY! No, I am going to reframe that. I AM BLESSED! I AM ALIVE! I AM FREE!
While at the computer there was a lady, I will call her Island Girl, because she was born and raised in Hawaii. She is an older lady who is pulling a 15 year bid. She has been down 5 years so far. Her husband, her daughter, and her son were all on her case. They are all either formerly incarcerated or still incarcerated. While reading my emails I turned to her and said, "Island Girl, I have received so many loving emails today and they all said something like, I am sorry, I know this isn't where you want to be, blah, blah.” I asked her if she experienced that. She looked at me and said yes. She mentioned that one of her sons used to say, "under the circumstances." She told him to stop saying that. She then said these powerful words. "I am in prison, but I am not confined." She continued with, “we may have limited resources but we are resourceful.” After leaving the computer lab I headed to the gym where my good friend Captain was doing her usual morning routine. She greeted me with a very lively "Merry Christmas." We started chatting about the day. Her sentiments to me were, "This has been the best Christmas I have had in a very long time." She discussed the gifts she had prepared before she left for her family. She was so excited that she had thought about the photo albums her kids and mother would get to open this morning. As were speaking, the devoted yogi, who we call Salt Lady entered the gym. This 66 year old, extremely flexible former nurse joined the conversation after greeting us with a hearty "Merry Christmas." She spoke about how she has come to the realization that "it," all the "stuff" we do and buy at Christmas, is just a big waste. It was overindulgence. The health nut in her couldn't help but add, "even the extra calories consumed today are just too much." Needless to say, she is very conscious about what she puts in her body, thus why she earned the name "Salt Lady."
Yes, there are is some sadness and depression in here. But I am sure that is the case today even in the outside world. There are people who are in the military who aren't home. People who travel for work, play sports, and sadly there are some people who are lying in hospice this morning. There are some people who know they will never spend another Christmas with their family. I AM ALIVE! I AM FREE!
This day only means what you assign meaning to and how you choose to view it. As my friends and I ate dinner we listened to the TI song, "You Ain't Missing Nothin." Check it out. That song definitely helped us keep things in perspective today. Yes, I miss my family at home, but I also have a family here who loves me as well. Who lifts me up, encourages me, and who on this day, will sit with me, listen to music, and eat a bunch of snacks with me. I even had the opportunity to have my favorite meal, steak. It wasn't exactly Fleming's Steakhouse, but it was a good break from the norm. I received a few gifts, spoke to my family, and really reflected on all the things I am grateful for.
I am okay. Thank you for your kind words, messages, and love. But please know, I am BLESSED! And this is MY FIRST AND LAST CHRISTMAS IN THE FEDS!
