My Prison Work Wife
In the real world people often refer to a person at their job that they spend a lot of time with and/or have developed a good relationship with as their work wife/husband. The same is true with me and my coworker who I will refer to as my Prison Work Wife (PWW). I have mentioned her before in a previous blog. She is an upper middle class Caucasian female who was a former vice president of bank in the mid west. PWW and I spend a lot of time together. At my job it is just the two of us and my boss. We are together Monday through Friday from 7:45 am until 1 pm. We even live on the same hall approximately five doors apart.
PWW and I have grown to be very close, not just because of proximity, but also because of mentality. We both have used our prison experience as a time of self discovery. PWW has grown extremely close to God during this time. When not working, she spends most of her day reading, crocheting, listening to music or studying for a bible class. Funny story about PWW…when she was picked up by the feds she actually had a spreadsheet with all of the money she had stolen itemized because she had planned to pay it back. Needless to say, her restitution is pretty accurate. She is remorseful for her crime and recognizes that she was driven by the need to maintain the "American Dream." Vice Presidents must have the right car, house, clothes and jewelry. She needed to look the part. That was then, this is now. With a wrist tattoo bearing the word "FREE" she now lives a self-actualized life in which she says is more peaceful than ever before.
Some days when we are supposed to be working we find ourselves in deep conversations. Today was one of those days. What was supposed to be a work day ended up being a day filled with thought-provoking conversation when asked by someone how our families felt about us being in prison. I believe the question was prompted by the fact that she and I are both highly educated, career oriented women who don't fit the typical "felon" mold; which is actually an issue.
When asked the question, PWW began to explain how she was the first person in her family to go to prison or jail. She talked about how her children have used her stay as an excuse to not do anything. The questioner likened being the first person to go to prison in some families to being the first person to go to college in other families. At first I listened to the question and PWW’s response. When it was my turn, I explained that for me it was a little different. Yes, I do think it was a shock and an unexpected situation for me. However, I cannot lie and say that I was the first person in my family to be incarcerated. In fact there have been several. Unfortunately, that is the case in a lot of minority communities. There are rarely people who are the first in the family to locked up.
Later in the day PWW and I continued our conversation about who people think felons are. We talked about the negative perceptions around it and how we could be the change. How do we humanize felons? Give them voice and visibility? And more importantly how do we prevent other "unexpectant" people from becoming felons. There is a huge stigma that needs to be dismantled. How do we do our part to bring awareness to the reality that we are incarnated with everyday people, doctors, teachers, mothers, wives, ministers, you name it? These are every day people just like those you love.
