Speechless
My heart goes out to every child who has an incarcerated parent. Being in here with so many mothers is absolutely heartbreaking at times. Hearing stories of mothers who have lost their kids while in prison is devastating.
Today, my heart broke even more when I received the news that my daughter's father had received what I consider an extreme sentence; especially for a money crime. With the time he was given he was better off catching a body. It is crazy how the system works. There are molesters and rapists who receive less time than someone who steals money. Not that I am justifying money crimes, or any crime for that matter, but it amazes me what the justice system deems as more important.
All night I tossed and turned. I thought about the night before my sentencing. It is one of the most antagonizing situations one could imagine. The fear of the unknown. Your future in the hands of someone who only knows what they have read about it is quite unnerving. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. On the other hand, sentencing day also brings a bit of relief. It is like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders because at least you finally know what you are dealing with. I remember leaving the courtroom and feeling as if the sky was brighter. I instantly felt lighter, even though I knew I would be reporting to prison soon.
Today, I waited to hear the outcome of my daughter's father/co-defendant’s sentencing. It was important to me because this is something that directly impacts my young child. My mind raced as I thought about how I would one day have to explain to her why she no longer received texts or visits from her father; a conversation no mother wants to have with her daughter. My hopes were that I would be returning home before his departure to at least close the gap of time enough to minimize the impact on her. This, however, is not the case. Sadly, my youngest angel will navigate the world for a short period of time with two incarcerated parents. No parent envisions this for their child. Tonight, my heart weeps for my precious little girl. My little one who is so much like me. A little one who, like me, will carry a hole in her heart for her father.
My prayers go out to all those who have dealt or are dealing with the incarceration of a parent. I pray for the mothers and fathers who are separated from their children. I pray for our criminal justice system, for reform, for grace. Mass incarceration in America is like no other. Reform is needed to rehabilitate individuals and reunite families, not to separate.
Welcome to America. The land of the New Jim Crow. #FTF
