YES!

Last night my former bunkie finished a masterpiece, she created a crocheted blanket of 2Pac from a pattern that a friend on the outside sent to her. It was so nice and she was so proud of herself. We hung the blanket on the wall of my room and told everyone that we saw to come take a look at it. I could see her beaming with joy as she admired what she had done. She is super talented at so many things. She is good with hair, makeup, cooking, and crocheting. Many would think it is because she has been incarcerated for a long time. But, I think it is because she operates with a spirit of excellence. She takes pride in everything that she does and she wants to be the best. I told her yesterday that I am her biggest fan and will always b;, no matter where we are, I want her to win. I see in her a lot of myself. I believe our connection is based upon both of our desires to be excellent. And notice that I used the word excellent and not perfect. It took me a long time to learn the difference, but there definitely is one. 

After completing the blanket, which took her a while, I thought she would be tired and ready to go to her room. Nope, not quite. Instead she insisted on playing a game of Scrabble which she had obtained earlier from the rec. I really did not want to do it, but I am also learning say "yes" to things outside of my comfort zone. So we sat on my bedroom floor, nightlight on so as not to disturb my bunkie, and played Scrabble. She was determined not only to beat me, but to create as many seven letter words as she could. It was heartwarming to play with her because English is her second language. Although we were playing a game, I was also able to teach her new words. She always has this curious look on her face when I use an unfamiliar word. When I see it I know to stop for a moment, slowly pronounce the word, tell her the meaning, and wait for her to repeat it back to me. Her face lights up when she gets it. She does the same when I use a Spanish word. Even though she beat me in Scrabble, it was quite fun. 

Today, I finally returned to work, kind of. My supervisor is not back from vacation so the students did not come. My coworker and I had the opportunity to chat. She is my Gayle and I am her Oprah. She opened up about some things very personal to her; things she felt she wanted me to know. I am so glad God brought us together. I have a feeling we were connected for more than just teaching GED together. 

I also had the opportunity to purchase my own MP3 player today. I have been using my bunkie’s, patiently waiting to get my own. Well, they finally came in. I was not the only one. The computers were full all day with new owners downloading their first songs. Apparently the first song you download is significant. I did not really think about what I was going to download until I got to the computer. I scrolled a little and then landed on a song I heard when I was IVISD (Inner Visions Institute of Spiritual Development), "Yes" by Shekinah Glory Ministries. I listened to that song a lot before I came in. There is a line in the song that says, "If I told you what I really need, would your heart and soul say yes? There is more that I require of thee, would your heart and soul say yes?" 

I listened to the song all day thinking about my response. When I first got here that very question was asked of me from a trusted spiritual advisor. At the time my answer was, "hell naw!" Today, as I walked down the hallway of the prison with the song playing, I looked at all the women. Some were laying in bed, some reading, some on the computer, and others were talking with friends. I know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be at this time in my life. I know without a shadow of doubt that my answer is now, "Yes!  My soul says yes. My heart says yes. I'll do what you want me to do. I'll go if you lead me, if you guide me. My soul says “Jesus." 

On August 2nd, 2022 I self-surrendered in more ways than one! 

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30 Day Mental Diet- Day 3

Why You Are Important

You Are Necessary To Life

I am a unique, important expression of God. God never duplicates anything. I am an original. NO ONE can do what I have been sent here to do. My life is purposeful and intentional. God put me here to do something that has never been done before. I say yes to it. I fully intend to spend the rest of my life listening to His guidance and removing any barriers that would prevent me from unfolding the infinite possibilities that exist in, through, and as me. 

I can use this knowing to correct any fears I have about doing something that has already been done. When I begin to compare myself to others I can remind myself of my importance and that no one else can live the life that I have been called to live.