Free At Last
This entire part of my life’s journey has been about being FREE. Hence the name of the blog. Truth be told, I thought I really knew what that meant even when I first started. I realize that I had a very limited view of what it meant to be FREE. Throughout my time, I have gained more and more clarity about what freedom really is, what it means to me and for me, and how I am truly, indeed FREE.
I have known since the day that I was convicted that I was coming to prison to be set free. Not just free in the physical and to be released from prison, but to live a FREE life. But what does that actually mean? How will I know that I am free? Initially, I thought that freedom meant being free from guilt, shame, scarcity, lack, or anything that was keeping me from living a full life. Free in my body, free in my finances, and free in my relationships. And while that is a part of it, I have become aware that it means so much more.
My bunkie recommended that I read a book that she credits with changing her life. She actually read the book during a time when she and I were not in a good space. Truthfully speaking, we were not even speaking to one another. When we did reconnect, after a lot of inner child work on my part, and her having a huge awakening after reading the book Wisdom Of the Council, our relationship has become much stronger, purer, closer, deeper, and more authentic. After hearing her speak so highly about the book and witnessing for myself a shift in her, I decided to read the book for myself. Currently, I am only three of the twelve chapters in and I am already blown away. I would have been further along, but I have literally re-read the chapters twice as I felt like it was written for me for such a time as this. The time of the end of my journey and my discovery of what FREE really means.
Free now means an awareness of consciousness. The full awareness that I have the power to create my reality. That there is no one and nothing keeping me from living in Heaven on Earth. I am free to have, be, do, experience, and feel anything that my heart desires. Consciousness is the awareness of the power that lives, dwells, and abides in me. I am free from the thoughts that there is more that I need to do, accomplish, or achieve because everything I desire is already in this right here, right now moment. There is no lack. There are no goals to set because I am where I am supposed to be. The only "goal" aka intention that I have is to satiate more into consciousness. Consciousness is unlimited, all-encompassing, all-knowing; it is ALL. It is me. Therefore I am FREE.
I have always said that when it was my time to go, to leave prison, the doors would open. I knew that my release had nothing to do with when man said I would be free. It had nothing to do with good time credits, FSA (First Step Act) credits, or the RRM (Residential Re-entry Manager) but everything to do with me freeing myself and me coming into consciousness. I have arrived at that place.
More than ever I feel FREE. I am FREE! Let the doors open.
FREE AT LAST!
