A Difficult Conversation: Setting Myself Free
Yesterday, I had one of the hardest conversations of my life. It was a talk I had been putting off for far too long, one that I knew was necessary to truly set myself free. I sat down with my youngest daughter, during our special mommy-daughter date, and decided it was time to reveal a painful truth that I had been hiding from her for the past year.
Reunited: A Joyous Homecoming
I feel like a kid the night before Christmas. I am so excited. My bunkie, my friend, my girl is getting ready to come home to be released from prison tomorrow. After six years of being incarcerated, she is finally going home. I am so, so excited for her.
Finding Hope and Stability After Incarceration
One of the hardest things that I've had to deal with since being out is the uncertainty about my income. When I went to prison, I lost my career, which was a huge part of my financial means of providing for my family. And that was a huge detriment, but God always provides. Today, I've had so many opportunities come my way in just a matter of 24 hours. I just surrendered and let God have his way, and the blessings are just flowing.
Finding Purpose and Direction: A Personal Journey
Life can sometimes feel like a maze, and many of us are on a constant quest for direction and purpose. I know I am. I thrive on structure, goals, and plans; they give me a sense of purpose and help keep my anxiety at bay.
My Weight Loss Journey: From Prison to Home, Battling Anxiety, and Finding Solace in the Gym
Exercise has become my mental refuge, a powerful tool to manage my anxiety. I've learned that when anxiety threatens to consume me, a brisk run or an intense workout can provide relief and clarity.
Embracing Minimalism: My Journey Towards a Capsule Wardrobe
During my time away from society, I learned the hard way about the preciousness of time. Incarceration can make even the smallest moments feel like an eternity, and it's an experience that reshapes your entire outlook. As I regained my freedom, I found myself yearning for a life that prioritizes experiences over possessions, quality over quantity, and time over material wealth.
Going Away Dinner
Every day it is more real. Last night I had a going away dinner with a few of my closest friends and favorite prison foods. We shared memories, laughed, and cried. They filled me up with their encouragement, stories of me, and kind words. It was good to be celebrated. The food and decor were also really cute and I am very appreciative to them all for taking the time out to show up for me.
A Kween Will Always Rise
Last night, my bunkie attempted to keep me from seeing some strange activity outside of our room door. At first, I didn't know exactly what was going on. She then asked me to step outside of the room where I got to see my goodbye poster with the words ‘A Kween Will Always Rise’ accompanied by a drawing of a beautiful, majestic phoenix.
I Will Always Love You
Every Friday evening in the chapel there is a praise and worship celebration. On the first Friday of the month, the individuals who are leaving that month are celebrated. Well, today it was my turn. As a part of the celebration, I asked my "auntie" to sing, and boy did she come through.
T-6 Days and a Wakeup
Today, I mailed out my final package home. I watched as the officer sealed my package and it was almost as if it was happening in slow motion. Wow! I can't believe it. I can officially say that next week this time I will be out of prison and back in North Carolina. God is so good!
One Year Later
One year ago today I self-surrendered to prison. Wow, is all I can say. I can't believe it has been a year. Then again, I can. So much has happened in a year on so many levels, both on the inside and out. When I woke up this morning, I woke up with a spirit of gratitude. For the lessons I have learned and earned, for the people I have met and grown to love, for the tears and laughter and for more to come. I am simply grateful.
Surreal Reality
I cleaned out my locker some more today. I am down the bare minimum. I am only keeping things I absolutely need. It feels surreal. I can't believe I am at the final stage of my journey. I am anxious but excited at the same time. I happy but sad as well. That is the polarity of life.
Closing One Chapter to Open Another
My final days are being spent chilling for the most part. I work out more and chill with my bunkie; that is about it. I am ready. Ready to close this chapter and open another one. It is time for me to go home. My family needs me and I need them.
Free At Last
This entire part of my life’s journey has been about being FREE. Hence the name of the blog. Truth be told, I thought I really knew what that meant even when I first started. I realize that I had a very limited view of what it meant to be FREE. Throughout my time, I have gained more and more clarity about what freedom really is, what it means to me and for me, and how I am truly, indeed FREE.
Completing the Journey
It seems surreal that I am at the end of this journey. The feeling is bittersweet. I have grown so much, met a lot of really nice/cool people, and learned a lot of lessons, lessons that I will take with me on the next part of my journey and beyond.
Last Missed Birthday
One of the occasions that has given me the most anxiety since I have been here is Vanessa's birthday. This is the one day that I did not want to be in prison. Especially with her turning 10. I was so hoping to be home. Since tomorrow is her birthday it doesn’t look like that will be happening.
Culinary Events Adventures
I was officially moved over to my new job with culinary events. On Thursday we catered and decorated for a women's leadership conference. When I tell you it was a full production, that is not an understatement. We had balloon arches, a shimmer wall, linens, organic garlands, drapes, florals, and a ton of decor pieces. I felt like I was back at home with Party Of 5. I was able to teach the other ladies all of the skills I have learned over the years. My boss was pleased with the outcome and the attendees continuously complemented us on the final product.
Hasta La Vista Santa
Well, my auntie left this morning. She looked so happy. I got up at 3:30 am to see her off. Count did not happen on time, so when I went downstairs at 3:30 am I had to run back up so that I did not miss count. I made it about a minute before the count guard arrived, thank goodness.
One Of God's Favorites
"How does it feel to be one of God's favorites?" Those were the words I heard today during a deep conversation at work.
It's Getting Hot In Here
Lawd it is hot; BLAZING! We are in an old ass, 1930 building with no air conditioning. I feel like 12 Years A Slave up In here. I should lose at least 10 more pounds just from sweating in the spirit. LOL!