Incarceration & Relationships

My son found out he/she is leaving this morning. The original release date was supposed to be in June so this last minute change is a bit unexpected. While we were in electrical class we were given the news. Releases are always bittersweet. You are happy to see someone leave, but their presence will be missed. Last week my son's brother was released from prison. Ironically, but not so much, they will be at the same halfway house. I know they will have one happy mother tonight. I can't imagine having two of my children locked up. My heart goes out to all of the mothers whose children are incarcerated. When they say your family does your time with you, that is an understatement. Sometimes I think it is harder on them than it is on you.

Later in the day, I was walking past the room of another inmate I am cool with and decided to stop in to speak. I noticed a couple of other friends with her who looked as if something was wrong. I asked what was going on and, initially, they said nothing, which I later found out was not true. After a moment they told me to close the door and they proceeded to tell me that one of the girls found out that her live-in boyfriend had a baby since she was incarcerated. To make matters worse, there is a possibility that there is another child he may have fathered. She was devastated. They all tried to console her as much as possible. Although it may be easy to judge this situation, the truth is relationships, especially intimate ones, are tough to maintain from prison. There are so many variables. I have seen it too many times since being here. Nasty breakups, cheating, divorce; you name it, I’ve seen it. This is just another layer of trauma we deal with on the inside. What I have learned is that the relationships that are supposed to last will, which is a good thing. Those that aren't supposed to last, won't, and that is a good thing too.