Incarceration & Relationships
I asked what was going on and, initially, they said nothing, which I later found out was not true. After a moment they told me to close the door and they proceeded to tell me that one of the girls found out that her live-in boyfriend had a baby since she was incarcerated. To make matters worse, there is a possibility that there is another child he may have fathered. She was devastated.
Happy Monday
Release dates and leave days are always bittersweet. They are filled with joy, excitement, anxiety, and more. However, every time someone receives a date or leaves I know that is one day closer for me!
Even More Eventful Friday
It seems like something happens every Friday. Besides it being the last day of March (whoop whoop) we of course received a visit from SIS (Special Investigative Supervisor). At the time I was in the computer room when I heard two officers come in and yell from another inmate, who was also in the tv room. As the officer walked away, I heard them say, "I don't want to put all your business out there so come with me." Of course this sparked the attention of others, including myself. However, it was not until later that I heard what happened. ALLEGEDLY, the inmate, who is 18, was caught receiving "a drop" which turned out to be suboxone strips on camera. There are also rumors that she is affiliated with gang activity.
Living Vision
I was so fortunate to attend IVISD (Inner Visions Institute of Spiritual Development) years ago and I still utilize many of the tools I acquired while I was there. One tool I have decided to use to support me in these efforts is to create a living vision. I am also blessed to still be in contact with individuals who have also been involved with IVISD in some capacity.
FSA Update AGAIN!
God loves me. There is no explanation why my date moved up more than others, except for the fact that I have favor on my life and this was a little reminder of that favor. I am so grateful for this journey, for His process. God has had His hands on me since the beginning and I live with an attitude of expectancy knowing that I will be taken care of.
Good Day Captain
Captain looked amazing; not just physically but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally as she walked through the gate. She looked FREE! Before she left Captain also gave each of us a letter and we were instructed not to open it until the moment that we realized she was gone. Well, that moment came from me when I got back to the building and looked over at the TV room and noticed she was no longer here.
Another Goodbye
Everyone is still waiting on the new FSA (First Step Act) update which is supposed to cause another round of immediate releases. The atmosphere here feels a little anxious as the wait continues. However, as always, we find humor in everything. There are some people who believe they will be immediately released once the credits hit. They have started clearing out their lockers, getting their hair done, and getting manicures and pedicures. It is entertaining to watch this whole thing unfold. And although I am curious to see the update, for myself and others, I always know that God's timing is perfect and when the doors are supposed to open for me, I will walk out.
Another Freaky Friday
Freaky Friday never seems to fail. Just when we thought we were going to smoothly head into a restful weekend, a van load of SIS (Special Investigative Supervisor) members rolls up to the camp. They have been on the hunt for these freaking cell phones for a while now and Superman (the head of SIS) will not be defeated.
The Best Birthday
Prison is really a microcosm of a macro outside world. In here we also create our own families, which mimic those on the outside. There are prison moms, wives, husbands, kids, etc. Of course, I too have joined in on the community and have a prison family.
Relax, Relate, Release
It is amazing how one thing can change so much in your life. I feel like the loss of my dad has shifted how I see life and it has also impacted how I am doing my time now. Because God's timing is always perfect, I was faced with the death of a loved one, dead in the middle of my sentence. This means I had about 7 months to heal in one way and I will take the next 6-7 to heal in a different way.
Cherish the Day
As soon as a new month would begin, I would already have my mind on the next month. I did not appreciate time. All of this changed when I found out my dad was dying. I wanted time to stop. I wanted to slow it down. I wanted for us to have as much time with him as we could. I even prayed that the day would never end.
Furlough Recap
What a blessing it was to furlough for 72 hours in order to attend my father's memorial service. I am grateful that I was granted the opportunity to go home to be with my family. 72 hours is not the standard length of most furloughs; it is usually about 48 hours. However, because of the distance, my case manager was able to secure a longer furlough time for me.
Temporary Release
My anxiety is increasing by the day as I prepare to leave on a furlough. I now see what those who were going home for good were talking about. There is the fear of something happening, something changing at the last minute, and your opportunity being taken.
Furlough Preparation
The past few days have really been a blur. As I have worked on plans for my father's memorial service, I am still in shock. I don't think it will all hit me until I get home. The staff and other inmates here have been very supportive and understanding. They have given me cards, hugs, and condolences for the past two weeks.
The Cycle of Life
It has been a couple of days. A lot has happened. I lost the first man that I knew really loved me. I have spent the last few days planning a funeral from prison, something I never would have ever imagined I would be doing.
The End of This Journey
As things continue to progress we are coming to the end of the journey with my dad. He has been so, so good to me and my daughters. He took me and my girls on as if I were his, for that I am so grateful.
My Bunkie Is Back
Today, I can officially say that I have my old bunkie back; my second one, the one I call the Baddest Bunkie. I am very happy about that because in the midst of everything going on it feels good to be able to be in the room with my closest friend.
Heartbreaking News
I did not expect the news that I received today. My mother informed me that my stepfather is being released from the hospital to go home with hospice care and the doctors gave him about four months to live.
A Time for Everything
The events of these past two weeks now have me refraining from believing that I am missing nothing. Everyone keeps telling me that when we speak, however these past couple of weeks were a gentle reminder that I am missing life. That itself is a lot. I have also been reminded that there is a time for everything; a time to be born and a time to die. Death is the only thing that is promised to us.
Welcome Updates
After I got to work I was asked to go see my case manager. Since we did not have our meeting last week she asked that I come see her to sign off on a few documents. I was happy to do so as we had the opportunity to discuss my release. THANK YOU GOD! That conversation made things real; we are actually discussing my release, the paperwork and dates.