I am going to keep this short and sweet. On the inside, I DO NOT ENJOY THE WEEKENDS. LOL! This is completely opposite from how it is on the outside. In the "real world" everyone works all week and looks forward to resting and relaxing on the weekends. It also felt like the weekends went by so fast and the week's drug on. In here, it is completely the opposite for me.

The other night I finally fully shared my story, meaning I did not just tell them what my crime was. I was basically sharing my business journey. I got to the part when I got involved in the situation that led me to being involved in my case. When I got in the shower after the conversation I began to process my story and I realized how I got here.

Every day I am talking to women about their business ideas, current businesses, etc. Because it is not as easy to get a good job with a felony on your record so many people are opting to go the entrepreneurial route. Therefore it is only natural that they are starting to think about business while they are here.

"You are the GOAT, because you got these ladies really roaming around looking for answers in the middle of the night." I smiled and went into my room. I am aware that I am A TEACHER. Not just in training, but by calling. My degrees and work experience have only helped me sharpen my iron. But I AM AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A TEACHER.

MY TRIBE IS STRONG! And when I say strong, I mean iron strong. And here is the thing, when they (my tribe) asked me what they could do for me at times I had no idea what to tell them, but when I did they came through.

…my room is approximately 7ft wide and 11ft long. It resembles a dorm room. There are no bars or cells here because again, I am at a camp. The walls are painted grey and the floors are a tan schoolhouse floor. Myself, as well as my bunkie, have a small locker. This locker has ALL of my possessions, clothes, food, toiletries, books, etc. Everything I own has to fit in the locker or under my bed.

I am a hider. Yes, me. I try really hard to hide my truth. I try to hide my power, my wisdom, everything. Usually, I fail because I am always discovered. If my life were a game of hide and seek it is like I am the one hiding behind a curtain, but you can plainly see that there is something there. Even in here, I have been found out. Staying in my room, eating alone, walking the track solo...failed. The ladies are starting to see me and they are asking me to step up.

I have also incorporated riddles into the class to promote critical thinking skills. On Friday the riddle was, "People buy me to eat, but never eat me." Of course, one of the student's answer was "A prostitute." Yeah, no. Not quite. The answer was actually a plate. LOL! This is just one example of what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Needless to say, I stay laughing and my day goes by very quickly.

“A man does not come to the almshouse or jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power.”

I now know the memories and moments are priceless and often free. In the past, I focused so much on providing material "things" for my family that I missed a lot of moments. I missed moments of conversations where my innocent children wanted to ask me for permission to do things like curse. I spent so much time working, building businesses, and seeking degrees to get me better paying jobs so that I could provide. This came at a cost. It cost me some memories.

I am the bird, FREE! Free to truly explore the depth of me.

This incident really made me think about how I handle conflict. It made me reflect on how I do not always speak up when there is an issue, which eventually leads to bigger issues. "Feelings buried alive never die."

So yeah, this is what my life has come to...missing pineapple. Luckily, I am too busy teaching hood alchemists to prep for the GED using real life, relatable examples.

I have made more friends here now. We have been staying up, sharing our stories, and our dreams for what the future holds once we leave Atwood. My tribe is growing.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am here for a purpose, to learn something, and once I have learned those lessons, then I will be released on all levels.

Probably the most exciting part of my day was having a great conversation with two ladies about our views on spirituality. As I continue my spiritual journey, I have been seeking to increase my studying and understanding of the bible.

Today was another reminder to take the time to play. To find joy in the little things.

This week, I have branched out a little. I have started building my community, my tribe. My Bunkie and I have started to talk more and are sharing with each other. And there are the ladies from the prayer service who I always speak to and even go up to and initiate a conversation. Then there are the ladies on my hall who I always pass as I head outside. They would be playing cards. I would speak, but I would keep on walking to my destination. Today, however, I did something different. I stopped and watched them play, and eventually I joined in.

…calls are hard for me because it forces me to come face to face with what I left behind. It is a reminder of my home, the love, my children, my parents, everything that I am currently away from. Calls force to me feel feelings that quite frankly I do not want to feel. The unresolved guilt that brings tears to my eyes every time I get off the phone. The pain and trauma of this experience that I am still processing. And that is the truth of why I do not call as much. I am hiding.

I started reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X a couple of days ago and I can't put it down…His prison experience completely changed his life. He even says in his autobiography that it saved his life. I truly believe the same is happening for me. Actually, I know it is. I can already feel the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders and for the first time in a long time I am truly still.