I believe in doing everything in excellence, even prison. The Bible says, "be faithful over the small things and he will make you a ruler over many." Therefore, if I take care of, beautify, clean, and make the best of my little 80 square foot prison room I will be given an 8000 square foot, or more, home. I believe that wholeheartedly, and therefore my room renovation project shall continue.

To kick off the new year I am going on a diet and probably not the kind you are thinking. Years ago when I attended Inner Visions Institute of Spiritual Development we completed a diet during the month of Jan. This wasn't a diet for your body that people typically partake in around the new year, this was a different type of diet. The 30-Day Mental Diet by Willis Kinnear.

For the next 30 days, I will partake in this diet and journal it here. This is not just a means of continuing to document another layer of my prison journey, but also to hold me accountable. So join me, take out your pen and paper and follow along.

I began to think about what "doing the work" would look like for me while I am incarcerated. I contemplated asking my family to send a book. I thought about going to see a psychologist. Then I read in the book where Oprah said Gayle was her therapist and she was hers. I prayed, "God, send me a Gayle in here to support me doing the work." God responded, "I already did; your work wife." I got up, went to her room, and with tears in my eyes I asked her to be "my Gayle." 

But the highlight of the day was the fried chicken they served at lunch. I know that this might not seem like much, but let me tell you. This new Tyson chicken, aka KFC, they served up today was the talk of the camp.

There is the period of time between Christmas and New Years that is - blah. No one is really working, the high of Christmas is over, things have slowed down, and people are resting. But, there is this anticipation of the New Year that is right around the corner which means it is time to recalibrate is kick it into high gear. It is this "In Between Holiday" that has no official name, but is quite familiar.

Upon completing my morning workout, I returned to my room to take a bath only to discover that there was no hot water. When I attempted to put my lunch, a pizza pocket that I made - yeah me! - on the oven (radiator), I noticed that there was no heat. This was shortly after 10 am. I quickly found out that the problem would be anticipated to persist until at least 3 pm. 3 pm turned into 4 pm. 4 pm turned into, "no one knows.”

While waiting in the phone line a girl sat next to me with a song playing. I asked her what the song was and she let me listen to her player. It was T.I.'s song, "You Ain't Missing Nothin." The song brought tears to my eyes. God knew exactly what I needed to reaffirm me.

Yes, there are is some sadness and depression in here. But I am sure that is the case today even in the outside world. There are people who are in the military who aren't home. People who travel for work, play sports, and sadly there are some people who are lying in hospice this morning. There are some people who know they will never spend another Christmas with their family. I AM ALIVE! I AM FREE!

I spent most of my day in my room with my bunkie, White Girl Keisha. After weeks of living with me she finally revealed that she is a writer. And you know anytime I find out that someone has a dream I am all about helping them manifest it. I have been sitting with her for the past two days creating a master plan for her once she is released. Listen, I rightfully earned my line name Master-P. LOL!

Most think this is my first Christmas away from my family. Actually, last year was. After being diagnosed with COVID I decided to post up in a Drury Inn in a nearby town in order to protect the health of my family. Christmas for me consisted of a FaceTime visit and a wave from the driveway. In a strange way I think God was preparing me for this very moment. 

There is this weird thing I have noticed with people. When they get ready to leave they start acting strange. They don't want to tell people their dates, they pull away, and they go into a deep silence. I have witnessed it several times. However, not even finding out her date was a first to me.

As I told the class, I have had every type of business you can think about. Additionally, I have gone through every up and down you can imagine with business. I have had highly successful businesses, businesses that did not launch, I have been sued, I have dealt with tax issues, I have had great staff, I have had HR issues, and lately, I have been to prison over business. My range is wide. The highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. My intention was to bring all of my knowledge, skill, and experience into that classroom. 

Someone asked me how I was managing it all because I seem to be okay. That is true, or at least it is at the moment. I just keep reminding myself that this is temporary and next year, no matter what, I will be home.

She is remorseful for her crime and recognizes that she was driven by the need to maintain the "American Dream." Vice Presidents must have the right car, house, clothes and jewelry. She needed to look the part. That was then, this is now. With a wrist tattoo bearing the word "FREE" she now lives a self-actualized life in which she says is more peaceful than ever before.

Recidivism rates are high. There are so many women who talk about the numerous prison stints that have had. Many are here on violations, others were here ten to fifteen years ago. You see women who did ten years, get out and return within a few months. It is crazy. What is even crazier is that the system is designed to keep you here. There is nothing therapeutic about this environment.

As we headed off campus I could feel myself getting a little anxious. I worried about how the people at the medical office would react to prisoners. We were in full uniform, but luckily it is cold here so my jacket covered my top. As we traveled in the car I got to see a Starbucks, Dairy Queen, and other sightings like a gas station. It’s crazy how you take seeing these things for granted when you see them all the time. When they are not part of your everyday viewing, you pay a little closer attention. 

I know I am in my feelings a little this week because the holidays are approaching. I just want to zip right through them because I want to be at home with my family. Seeing them on the video visit today really made me sad. I hate that my conversations with them are reduced to fifteen-minute phone calls and 25-minute videos. I want to be there. I want to hug and touch them. I want to laugh and cry in person. 

I am doing a lot of reading, planning, praying and contemplating. A part of contemplating is where I want to live when I am released. I am feeling a strong pull to relocate my family to Atlanta. I am not running from anything, but I feel like I need a fresh start. And yes, I know ATL is overcrowded, but there are numerous reasons why that city feels right for me.

I remember my therapist, who was an avid crocheter, told me that if she ever went to prison she was going to still do her. She was still going to crochet and do therapy. That no matter where she was she was going to do her. I believe that is how passion works; it lives, breathes, and resides in you. It is true and therefore it is everlasting. Passion can withstand the test of time and any situation. It can even withstand the walls of prison.